"I hate quotations."
"The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think."
"I never get lost...I just change where it is that I want to go."
"A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better."
"The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
The realist adjusts his sails."
"The probability of someone watching you is
proportional to the stupidity of your action."
"Never run with scissors."
"Those of you who think that you know everything are particularly annoying to those of us who do."
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.
Now I see that I should have been more specific."
"Writing about music is
like dancing about architecture..."
"The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground...and miss."
"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane."
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of."
"'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
"When you have eliminated the impossible, that which remains, however improbable, must be the truth."